Donor Psychological Consultations

Online Third-Party Reproduction Evaluations Across California, Colorado, Alaska, Arizona, Florida, Nevada & Virginia

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Your path to parenthood is unique. You don't have to walk through this journey alone.

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You’ve always dreamed of having a family of your own. Now, let’s make that a reality.

If your fertility clinic or agency has told you that you need a "psychological evaluation" or "donor consultation," it is completely normal to feel a bit anxious or confused. Many people worry this is a test to see if they are "fit" to be parents, or a hurdle designed to catch them off guard.

It is not.

In third-party reproduction, a psychological consultation is a standard, psychoeducational meeting. It is a supportive, structured conversation guided by American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines.

Depending on your role in the family-building journey, here is exactly what the consultation covers:

For Intended Parents (Using an Egg, Sperm, or Embryo Donor)

This is a collaborative, non-judgmental space to help you prepare for the unique emotional landscape of raising a donor-conceived child. During this session, we will discuss:

  • Processing the Journey: Honoring any grief or loss associated with infertility, and celebrating the exciting transition to third-party reproduction.

  • The Donor Relationship: Exploring your feelings regarding a known donor (like a friend or family member) versus an anonymous or bank donor.

  • Disclosure and Talking to Your Child: Discussing the healthiest, most empowering, and age-appropriate ways to share the donor story with your future child so they grow up with a proud, confident sense of identity.

  • Future Dynamics: Navigating boundaries, family relationships, and the long-term emotional aspects of donor conception.

For Donors (Egg, Sperm, or Embryo Donors)

This is a supportive screening and educational session to ensure you are fully informed and emotionally prepared for the profound gift you are giving. During this session, we will discuss:

  • Informed Consent: Ensuring you fully understand the medical, physical, and psychological aspects of the donation process.

  • Future Implications: Discussing how you might feel about future contact with donor-conceived children, and how this donation might impact your own current or future family.

  • Emotional Readiness: Exploring your motivations for donating and ensuring you have a strong support system in place as you go through the medical cycle.

Types of Consultations We Conduct

  • Donor sperm is sperm provided by a carefully screened individual (the donor) and is often obtained through licensed agencies or sperm banks. These agencies follow strict federal guidelines to ensure that all donors undergo thorough medical, genetic, and infectious disease screening. Donor sperm can be an option for single people, same-sex couples, or anyone experiencing fertility challenges. It can be used with procedures such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF). Choosing donor sperm allows you to build your family in a way that fits your needs, with medical, legal, and emotional support available throughout the process.

  • Donor eggs are eggs donated by another individual to help someone achieve pregnancy. Donors are thoroughly evaluated and selected by licensed agencies or fertility clinics, which follow strict federal guidelines for medical, genetic, and infectious disease screening. Using donor eggs may be considered if you are unable to use your own eggs due to age, medical conditions, or genetic concerns. The donated eggs are fertilized through in vitro fertilization (IVF), and the resulting embryos can be transferred to your uterus or a gestational carrier. Donor egg offers a valuable pathway to parenthood, and professional support is available to guide you through each step of the process.

  • Donor embryos are embryos that have been created by another individual or couple, often through in vitro fertilization (IVF), and are donated to help others build their families. These embryos are typically offered by individuals or couples who have completed their own fertility treatment and wish to give others the opportunity to become parents. Embryo donation is coordinated through licensed clinics or agencies, which follow federal guidelines for screening and handling. Using a donor embryo may be an option if you are unable to use your own eggs or sperm, or if you are seeking an alternative path to parenthood. The embryo is transferred to your uterus or a gestational carrier, offering a meaningful way to grow your family with medical, legal, and emotional support throughout the process.

  • A gestational carrier, sometimes referred to as a gestational surrogate, is a person who carries and gives birth to a baby for someone else. In this process, an embryo created using the intended parent's eggs and/or sperm (or those of donors) is transferred to the carrier's uterus through in vitro fertilization (IVF). Gestational carriers have no genetic relationship to the child they carry. This option may be considered by individuals or couples who are unable to carry a pregnancy themselves due to medical, genetic, or other reasons. Working with a gestational carrier involves careful medical, legal, and psychological screening, following established guidelines, to ensure the well-being of everyone involved. For many, this path offers a meaningful way to grow a family, and support is available to guide you through the process and address your questions and feelings along the way.

  • Surrogacy is a family-building option where another person, known as a surrogate, carries and gives birth to a baby for someone who is unable to do so themselves. The surrogate may carry an embryo created from the intended parent’s eggs and/or sperm, or from donors, using in vitro fertilization (IVF). There are two main types of surrogacy: gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate has no genetic connection to the child, and traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate’s own egg is used. Most surrogacy arrangements today are gestational. Surrogacy may be considered for medical, genetic, or other reasons. The process includes thorough medical, legal, and psychological screening to support the health and well-being of everyone involved. Surrogacy can offer a hopeful path to parenthood, and guidance is available to help you understand and navigate each step.

  • Directed donation is an option where sperm, eggs, or embryos are donated by someone you know personally, such as a family member or friend. This approach allows you to choose a donor with whom you have an existing relationship, which can be meaningful for many individuals and families. Directed donations can involve sperm, egg, or embryo donation, depending on your specific needs and circumstances. The process includes comprehensive medical, genetic, and psychological screening for all parties, as well as legal guidance to ensure everyone’s rights and responsibilities are clearly understood. Choosing a directed donation can provide a sense of connection and comfort, and support is available to help you navigate the emotional, medical, and legal aspects of this unique path to building your family.

What you can expect:

  • Personalized Support: Your story and experiences are important. I take the time to understand your unique background, values, and concerns as you consider or move forward with donor conception.

  • Thoughtful Exploration: Together, we will discuss the key factors, stressors, and life events that shape your feelings, hopes, and decisions regarding donor sperm, egg, or embryo, or directed donation. This process helps ensure your choices are informed and aligned with your needs.

  • Professional Guidance: Each consultation is conducted with care, clarity, and attention to detail, so you feel confident and well-supported as you navigate your options.

  • Trauma-Informed Care: I approach every consultation with sensitivity and respect for your emotional well-being. Some discussions may involve difficult or complex topics, such as decisions about pregnancy outcomes or other deeply personal matters. My priority is to create a supportive environment where you feel safe to explore these conversations at your own pace, with care taken to minimize distress and honor your experiences and values.

  • LGBTQ+ Affirming: As an affirming therapist and consultant, I understand the unique experiences and challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals and families in reproductive care. You will find a safe, welcoming, and supportive space to discuss your goals, concerns, and hopes for the future.

The Process:

Initial Contact

We start with a brief conversation to learn about your needs, answer your questions, and schedule your consultation at a time that works for you

The Psychological Consultation

During our session, we’ll talk through your hopes, questions, and any worries you may have about donor conception. This is a collaborative conversation; there are no right or wrong answers, and you are encouraged to share only what you feel comfortable discussing. We will also address important topics such as decision-making, family dynamics, and any ethical or emotional considerations.

Documentation and Coordination

Following our session, I will prepare a formal consultation summary confirming that you have met the psychological consultation requirements in alignment with ASRM guidelines. I will send this documentation directly to your nurse, agency, or fertility coordinator to ensure your process continues without delay.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • A donor consultation is a supportive conversation with a mental health professional to discuss the emotional, ethical, and practical aspects of using donor sperm, eggs, or embryos, or working with a gestational carrier. It helps you make informed decisions and ensures you feel prepared for the journey ahead.

  • Consultations are often recommended or required for individuals and couples considering donor conception or surrogacy, including single parents, LGBTQ+ families, and those experiencing fertility challenges. This is in accordance with guidelines from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and is considered best practice by most fertility agencies and clinics to ensure you have the support and information you need.

  • + Donor Consultations (Egg, Sperm, Embryo, Gestational Carrier, and Surrogacy): $550.00

    + Directed Donation Consultations (Egg, Sperm, Embryo, Gestational Carrier, and Surrogacy): $1750.00)

    **Ask Dr. Grey about Sliding Scale Availability**

  • We cover a range of topics, including your hopes and concerns, family dynamics, future communication with your child about their origins, ethical considerations, and any sensitive or complex decisions that may arise. The conversation is tailored to your unique situation.

  • Some aspects of donor conception can be sensitive, and we may discuss topics such as family communication, pregnancy outcomes, or past experiences. These conversations are handled with empathy and respect, and you are encouraged to share only what you feel comfortable with.

  • No, this is not a psychological evaluation. The consultation is a supportive, non-judgmental conversation designed to help you reflect on your choices and feel confident moving forward.

  • You may be asked to complete a brief questionnaire beforehand to help guide our discussion. Otherwise, simply come with your questions, concerns, and an open mind.

  • After your consultation, I will prepare a summary document confirming you have met the requirements for donor conception or surrogacy. This document is sent to your nurse, agency, or coordinator as needed.

  • Yes. As an LGBTQ+ affirming provider—and as a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I welcome individuals and families of all identities and backgrounds. My approach is inclusive, respectful, and sensitive to the unique experiences and needs of LGBTQ+ people. You can expect a safe, supportive, and understanding environment throughout your consultation.

  • Each consultation concludes with personalized resources and a list of psychotherapists who specialize in supporting individuals and families on the fertility journey. If you have further questions or need ongoing support, you are always welcome to reach out. I am committed to helping you access the care and information you need at every stage.